A tale of two learning experiences

It’s my first week full time at my job and the onboarding experience is, shall we say, intense. Not only is there the normal paperwork, selecting of benefits, etc., there is also two weeks of training to go through. 60 hours worth.

Fortunately, it’s actually pretty fascinating, at least to me. It’s not just the history of the company or how to do the processes necessary to do your job; it’s also materials to help new employees develop life-changing mindsets so they can do more meaningful and impactful work. They just had me buy Man’s Search for Meaning as part of this curriculum. The part of me that loves self-improvement is geeking out.

I just wish I had more time.

There is a lot of information to consume. Like, the amount I would probably consume in a quarter-long class in college, and somehow I’m supposed to squeeze it all into two weeks. By hour three or four each day my eyes start to get blurry and my brain can’t absorb any more information, but I know I need to get in at least three more hours if I’m going to hope to meet the pacing.

Oh, did I mention there are pre-scheduled meetings where you discuss what you’re learning? I’m already not going to finish what I’m supposed to have done for tomorrow’s meeting and I’m okay with that, but I can already hear the perfectionist in my head going back to it’s mantras from my college days:

Why are you so slow? Everyone else is able to do this (side note: they’re not, people have told me so, but that doesn’t matter to my inner perfectionist). If you were smarter, you would have finished all the admin work faster and you wouldn’t be behind. What is wrong with you?

The intention, I presume, is to set the expectation that this is a high intensity, high performance environment and a lot will be expected of you. To me, it just feels like a test I’ve already failed.

And the worst part is, I don’t feel like I’m retaining any of it. It just feels like a checklist I have to get done as fast as possible. There’s little, if any, intentionality — as much as I’m trying for there to be — and I get the sense my coworkers also feel this way about it. I’ve mentioned the training I’m doing to a few coworkers who’ve gone through it previously and almost every one of them either gives me tips to get through it faster or gets a glazed look in their eye and tries to encourage me.

That’s not how I want to feel when I learn something.

I appreciate having two weeks to just learn, but I wish I could just go through the material at my own pace without reporting on my progress. I feel like I would get so much more out of it.

_______________________

Compare that to this weekend. I started a program with Dra. Rocío Rosales Meza called Divine Alignment.

When I signed up for the program, I received instructions for what to do before our live calls — a pre-call ritual. I’m not going to go into the specifics of what this involved as I don’t have permission to share (all of her programs have these rituals if you choose to work with her), but what I will say is that it calls for setting aside an hour before class to prepare your energy for the space you’re about to enter.

I’d never really done anything like this before, so I wasn’t sure it would have much impact. But as I started, I immediately realized what this was doing (at least for me) and I was kind of blown away. Besides creating a calm and receptive energy for the call, it also set up learning itself as a sacred thing.

You really have to care about and be committed to what you’re learning to slow down and take two hours out of your Sunday afternoon for the call and then also take an additional hour to prepare for it beforehand. It made me value the time even more because I allowed myself so intentional about how I wanted to show up for myself and everyone else on the call. And it did impact how I showed up: I felt so connected and present despite the fact that it was through Zoom. I didn’t want to distract myself or get lost in my thoughts, even when things got heavy. I just wanted to be there and absorb everything possible.

I’ll also add this program is thirteen weeks. Most weeks we receive a single audio to ponder through the weeks. Some weeks are longer live calls. Some weeks there is nothing so you have space to integrate what you’re learning into your life. But there is lots of space to really sit with the material (plus the ability to relisten afterward).

And I think that’s what I’m missing with this onboarding at work, and honestly a lot of the learning I’ve done throughout my life. Learning is supposed to make an impact, but integration and application require space to allow that to happen. Or at least, they do for me.

When timelines are too compressed and the expectation is how can we maximize the amount done in as little time possible, my intentionality goes out the window and I essentially go into survival mode. And then I’m just absorbing what I can as I fly through.

There is this belief in western society that more information is better, that more intense is better, and if you aren’t squeezing every ounce of value out of your time then you are wasting it.

But maybe this shows that more isn’t better. Maybe it’s the space and the ease that allow for the greatest impact. Maybe.