Part 4: Searching for answers

Molly looked at the clock once more and sighed. It was just after five and the phone still hadn’t made a sound. Maybe the call would come tomorrow.

According to the nurse manager on the day of her interview, she’d receive a call by the end of the week if she got the job. Two other hospitals had already made offers, but the whole reason to become a nurse was to better understand how those seemingly predictive cold spells worked. And what better place to do that than the hospital where her mother died?

The front door opened and Molly glanced over as her dad walked in.

“Waiting for a call?” he asked.

Her shoulders slumped. “I thought for sure it’d be today.”

“It must be one of the big ones.”

“Yeah, it’s…”

Her dad raised his eyebrows and Molly cleared her throat.

“UCLA.”

“Oh.”

He turned his back to her and fumbled with the latch on his briefcase. When Molly applied to jobs, she’d neglected to tell him about this one. Her going to nursing school already made him tense. But he’d accepted it as her way of dealing with the loss of her mom. This might have been pushing it a bit far though. Deep down she hoped it’d never come up, even after she’d been working there for years.

“Is that okay?” she prodded.

“What about the other hospitals you’ve heard back from? Those sound like great opportunities.”

Her eyebrows furrowed. “Dad.”

“UCLA’s just a tough hospital to get into. I don’t think you should get your hopes up.”

“Dad.”

For a moment, only the ticking clock filled the silence.

Finally he turned to her and said, “I don’t think it’s a good idea to go back there. You’ll be reliving that moment over and over. Now that it’s been a few years you might think it’s fine, but you don’t know. You just don’t know. So why take the risk?” His lips pressed together in a tight line.

“I’ll be fine, dad,” Molly said softly. “I went back there for the interview.”

“That’s not the same thing.”

“And I’ll be working in the emergency department.”

“Where people die all the time.”

If only she’d told him about the cold spells. Maybe he’d get why she needed to go back. In fact, he’d be pushing her to go get answers. Or she’d be in a psych ward. That thought kept her mouth shut.

He took a deep breath. “If you’re going to be a nurse, that’s fine. But I don’t want to see you torture yourself.”

“You don’t understand.”

“What don’t I understand?”

“It’s the whole reason I became a nurse. To help people. There. In that hospital.”

“You can help people in any hospital.”

“But I can’t make sense of everything in any hospital!”

They never talked about it. Not even when Lizzie came home for Christmas. This was the closest they’d come since the funeral.

And it seemed that was as far as they’d go. Before either of them broke the long silence between them, the phone rang and they stared at it. On the third ring, Molly stood and picked up the receiver. “Hello?”

It was the nurse manager with a decision. Molly listened to her talk about the quality of the applicants and the difficulty in making a decision. But she had made a decision, and she wanted Molly for the position.

“Wow! Thank you so much,” Molly said. “I, uh…”

Molly caught her dad’s eye and her smile wavered. Having his support would mean so much to her. And the last thing she wanted to do was hurt him. One last time she pleaded with her eyes for him to get on board.

He pursed his lips. “I just realized I’ve never asked you how you were dealing with your mother's death.”

Molly’s voice caught in her throat. She’d never asked him either.

Forgetting the phone call, she waited for him to continue. “If your mother was here, she’d want you to say yes,” he said quietly. “If that’s what you really want.”

Tears filled her eyes and she nodded enthusiastically.

“Well,” he said and gestured to the phone, just as the nurse manager said, “Molly? Did I lose you?”

“Sorry! Yes! I would love to accept the position,” Molly blurted into the phone.

Once the nurse manager finished going over the specifics, Molly hung up and wrapped her arms around her dad.

“Thank you for understanding,” she said.

He returned the embrace and sighed. “Just promise me you’ll look for something else if it starts to get to you.”

Hugging him tighter, she said, “I promise.”

____________

Want to know what happens next? Read part 5 now.

Or catch up on the rest of the story.