Part 8: Letting Loose

Molly needed a night to let go. Her dad had told her years ago that sometimes the best way to solve a problem was to forget about it, and since all her reasoning and logic had failed to bring her to a decision, now seemed like the perfect opportunity to test that theory. That’s how she ended up at the hottest new club in town on Friday night.

Molly had never been to a club before. Until her coworkers invited her, she’d never even considered it. But it turned out to be just what she needed. Out on the dance floor, any thoughts about her job, the ice shards, and death that had been plaguing her mind for weeks were driven out by the music.

The alcohol might have had something to do with it too.

As a song ended, Molly stumbled back over to the table to catch her breath.

“Here you go!” her coworker Angela said as she passed Molly another cocktail.

Molly tried to push it back. “I’m already going to be in bed all day tomorrow with a migraine.”

“All the more reason to have another!” said Sofia, their other coworker.

The cocktail ended up in Molly’s hand and the water glass she’d been intending to grab had disappeared. She laughed and took a sip.

The strobe lights and the pulsing music brought her into a world where everything was in sync. The people around her. Her movements. Her heartbeat. It all seemed to flow together in a connected chain of events, one leading to the next. She could almost see the next event just before it happened.

Even the man who stepped in front of her. For a moment she hesitated, realizing that his tall, muscular frame could easily take advantage of her smaller one. But in her mind’s eye she only saw dancing between them tonight. It was powerful enough to make her start dancing again. Her logic and reasoning would have screamed if they’d been present.

The music drove the two of them closer. Close enough for him to pull her toward him. From his hand on her arm, Molly thought she could feel his pulse in time with the music. In time with her heartbeat. All in sync.

She was suddenly walking outside, texting on a cell phone. The pulsing lights above her had been replaced by headlights of passing cars, the club music by hip hop coming through the earbuds in her ears. As she messaged someone named Alex, she realized her hands didn’t look like her hands at all. They were too large and there was dirt underneath the fingernails, something she never allowed after spending so much time obsessing over hygiene for her job. The phone wasn’t hers either. She wanted to stop and examine it, but her hands wouldn’t obey. They just kept texting.

The more Molly walked, the more she wanted to look around and get a better grasp on her surroundings. If she could look in the windows she saw out of the corner of her eye, maybe she could get a better idea of what was going on. She only had the text messages, which seemed to be generic plans for meeting up the following afternoon.

Stepping into the street, something caught her eye. Light. She finally turned her head away from the screen toward the blinding headlights just as the sound of squealing breaks broke through the music blasting in her ears.

The women behind Molly shrieked as she stumbled into them, threatening to bring a wave of drunk dancers to the ground. But she was the only one that fell. The blinding strobe lights made her heart race, the music felt deafening, and she shook from shock. And cold. To her horror, she realize it was coming from the ice block that had appeared in her chest.

All the sensation around her made her head spin and she blacked out.



The beeping heart monitor woke Molly from her daze.

“Oh thank God!” Angela said more loudly than she should have. The nurse standing behind Angela rolled her eyes. Clearly Molly wasn’t the only one that’d had too much to drink.

Molly didn’t recognize the nurse and she crossed her fingers they’d taken her to a hospital they didn’t all work at. But as the room came into focus, her heart sank. At least she didn’t know most of the people working tonight.

Sofia must have been sober enough to notice Molly’s face. “When the ambulance came, we were so worried we forgot to request a different hospital,” she said in a whisper that carried beyond the curtain that acted as Molly’s only barrier of privacy. “But we thought you’d been drugged!”

“I just had too much to drink and I fell down,” Molly said, shaking her head.

The girls shook their heads with fear in their eyes. Flashes of what happened came back to her, sending shivers down her spine. The adrenaline rush she’d felt as that car barreled toward her flooded her system again and made her want to vomit. For the sake of the very annoyed nurse, she breathed deeply and forced her mind to go blank until the feeling passed.

It was getting worse. First the ice blocks, then the ice shards, and now this. Visions. Considering what she had just seen, she didn’t want any visions from her patients. She had to get out. See that psychiatrist. Get some meds. Quit before it all drove her to a breaking point she couldn’t come back from. Her dad’s theory had been right. Once she stopped thinking about it, the decision had been made for her.

“Good news, ladies.” The doctor came by with her chart and Molly flushed, recognizing the woman. “No drugs in her system. Just alcohol.” The doctor raised an eyebrow at Molly. “Lots and lots of alcohol.”

“Are you sure?” Angela asked, reaching for the chart. The doctor pulled it away with a frown. “People who saw her said she went into, like, a trance before she passed out. And she was basically hypothermic when we got to her, despite all the dancing.”

The doctor sighed. “Those can all be signs of too much alcohol consumption. Maybe if you hadn’t had so much to drink yourself, you’d have remembered that, nurse.”

Angela blushed and dropped her eyes.

“I’ll take it from here,” said a voice that made Molly’s heart sink. Of course Irene would be working tonight. She’d snuck through the curtain without any of them noticing.

The doctor nodded and left with the other nurse.

“Ladies,” Irene said with a smile that didn’t reach her eyes, “why don’t you go home now that Molly’s okay? We’ll talk later.”

Sofia and Angela grimaced, but obeyed.

When they were finally alone, Irene looked down at Molly, arms crossed. Molly bit her lip, waiting for some citation that she’d be fired on the spot. At least leaving her job would already be checked off her list.

“Are you all right?” Irene asked.

“I guess.”

“Getting that drunk was stupid. You’re lucky you passed out with a few sober people around you.”

“I know.”

“So why did you do it?”

It would have been easy to say she’d lost count of her drinks or there had been too much peer pressure to have another and another. But she wasn’t sure that was the whole truth. Every time she’d thrown back a drink, it’d felt so good to let loose and not worry about the fate of everyone else.

“Is this because of that patient from a few weeks ago? The one that died?” Irene asked. Her voice had softened.

Molly turned away. “Why would you say that?” she asked, her voice cracking. There was still a good amount of alcohol left in her system, making her more emotional than usual. She blinked to fight it.

“Because you’ve seemed kind of off since that night.”

Before Molly could stop herself, a tear streaked down her cheek. And then more until it felt like she might cry out all the water being replenished in her body by the IV.

“I just— I can’t— What do I—” So many thoughts had piled up in her head that she didn’t know where to start.

Irene sat next to her on the bed and placed a hand on Molly’s. The warmth of it brought Molly comfort.

“It’s okay,” Irene said. “It’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

“I—”

“You need a break.”

Molly nodded. She needed more than a break, but she couldn’t get out anything but her sobs.

“And that’s okay. I’ll make some calls. There’ll be plenty of people willing to work an extra shift or two. I’ll try to get you as much time as I can.”

After all this kindness, Molly couldn’t leave Irene with false expectations. She needed to quit. Taking deep breaths, she started to slow the sobs. The beeps of the heart monitor came at longer intervals and her breathing started to match. Looking into Irene’s worried eyes, she got lost in the concern pouring over her.

In a flash, she was on the floor of Irene’s office, clutching her chest. Irene’s dark hair fell in front of her face as she gasped through the pain. She couldn’t get up. She couldn’t call out. Just down the hall, she knew there were medications that could save her life, but she couldn’t get to any of them.

“Molly!” Irene came back into focus, leaning over her with deep lines of concern etched in her forehead. Molly’s breathing still came in gasps and she shivered uncontrollably.

“I’m going to go get the doctor,” Irene said. “Have her run a few more tests.”

Molly tried to reach out and grab Irene’s hand, but her manager left too quickly. Her eyes widened in fear and she fought to stay conscious. As much as she didn’t want to feel or see that vision again, she needed to know more. Because just like with the last vision, Molly had an ice block sitting in the middle of her chest. And it was going to be for Irene. But when?

Quitting. The psychiatrist. Those would have to wait until she saved Irene’s life. Because if she didn’t, no one would.

_____________

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